I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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