And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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