I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
