I hope mine doesn't look like that
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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