i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
