U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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