Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
