I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
