the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
