yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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