To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
