If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
