found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
