this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Randomize
