where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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