I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
