I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
