my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
