True but thats because hes a fetus.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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