so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
