I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
