so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize