You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
