I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize