Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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