I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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