Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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