What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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