is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His nipple licking is glorious
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