Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
