There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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