covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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