Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
