well most of my day revolves around power hour
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
