Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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