Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
