After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
