So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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