my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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