marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
