Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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