yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Send help, water and tortillas.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
