The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
