you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
