He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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