dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
