girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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