she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
