note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
