is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize