Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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