Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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