I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
zippers are such a cool invention
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
