i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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