when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
