I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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