Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
