3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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