Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
