Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
