I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
