I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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