We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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