Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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