True but thats because hes a fetus.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
