I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
birth control should be required to get into college
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
